Pensive Power

You, whose presence was my cure 
With exotic scents of flowers’ lure.
Like the smell of new spring blooms,
Enticing me with your perfumes.

Dainty steps of your small dance, 
Keeps my eyes in a luring trance.
Like the grace of many swans,
Slowly slow as new day dawns.

Mere sight of your humble smile, 
Stops all hurt and ends ev’ry trial.
Like a wide bridge - more no less,
Traversing through all loneliness.

Sparkling jewels within the skies, 
Shimmer, shimmer from in your eyes.
Like a twinkle seen above,
Now I know that I’m in love.

Your caress when we’re alone,
Warms my body to the bone.
Like a child in mother’s womb,
Nothing matters - no wrongs, no doom.

Just these thoughts do keep me by,
Makes me sad and makes me sigh.
Those days we had, all in the past,
Wonder why it should never last.

If dreams came true in this World,
Our story should have unfurled
With you and me together in love,
In life, in death and in heavens above.

My world was so, so dark,
A place where no colours crept,
A world of sorrow and despair
Where monsters hardly slept.

And in this crypt I was born,
A desolate creature as I began,
Few barely looked an eye at me
Attractive to none in this ol’ land.

Darkness never filled my heart,
It was full of greys and blacks.
But it yearned to be set free one day,
For one girl that stopped my tracks.

She was the only fairest damsel,
Whose eyes twinkled like a star.
A lady assured to be generous,
Gaining courtiers from plenty afar.

An angel ever to be promoted,
Or indeed one fallen just for me.
Her presence was like heaven,
The torrent of love, a mighty sea.

In one embrace my heart filled,
Not with blood or liquid from above,
But with vivid, vivid colour,
Which I now know as only love.

My world is different now,
A very beautiful type of change,
The world is no longer dark,
But of colours of huge range.

My heart fills with royal red,
For the truth of my fair love.
The sky is only clear blue,
Unspeckled except for a dove.

The trees and grass are changed,
The scenery all fashioned with green.
The animals all brightly dressed
With purples, oranges all seen.

My one and only love,
Has turned my world around.
The crypt in which I was born,
Will never, ever be found.

All that you have ever given me,
Is treasured to its very core,
You have changed my world,
And I love you so much more.

If i recount to my good lady
How beautiful i see of thee.
Nay, what i say is surely true:
Nothing will compare to you.

Nay, not a flower in a sea
of other ghoulish-looking trees.
Nay, not a pebble in the sky
in the midst of the blue blue dye.
Not even a precious stone
Set in gold, ready to be thrown.
Nay, what I say is surely true:
Nothing will compare to you.

Nay, not the beautiful cities
Adorned with aristocratic pities.
Nay, not the tallest spires
Where one may perish and tire.
Not even the glint of the night
Close as though it seems it might.
Nay, what I say is surely true:
Nothing will compare to you.

Nay, not a thing comes close
Except the suitors in their droves.
Nay, not one thing deemed pretty
Strays anywhere near you, pretty.
Not even the most beautiful of town
Would dare to take your crown.
Nay, what I say is surely true:
Nothing will compare to you.

She stands there,
Back to the world.
Eyes are focused
On her beautiful violin.

She stands completely still,
Her hair is quivering,
Her hands are flowing
Sweet music escapes.

Her lonely figure stays
On the corner of the street,
Her music flows on
When no one is listening.

She possesses nothing in the world,
Nothing but her old, old violin.
When people pass by her
They look down, oblivious to her.

She stands there every day of the lord,
When no one dares miss the bell of the church.
She plays out of her very heart,
The sad, sad melodies of her past.

No one listens to her beautiful melodies,
No one but another lonely figure standing in the street.
He stands there, pale in the very shock of her
At the grace of her lyrical, graceful song.

He slowly walks up to her corner of the street,
The exact part where the most people can hear and see her.
She keeps on playing her lyrical, graceful song,
Focused on ending the song, oblivious to the man in front of her.

He stops staring and realizes the empty velvet violin case in front of her,
Very slowly, he brings out his wallet and produces his last coin that he had earnt.
Very slowly, he bends down, with his eyes back on her, and places the coin in the violin case.
The spell is broken - she stops playing and suddenly, very suddenly, their eyes lock together.

The air becomes thick with silence and they stare at each other, somehow shocked,
“I was drawn to your beautiful melody, the sad, sad song and it possessed me to come,” he said.
“I have been playing that same melody, the sad, sad song since the first day of time,” she said.
They hold hands and smile, the first for a very long time - for the lonely figures were lonely no more.

She was always there,
The most beautiful girl I’d ever see.
Her presence filled up the room,
And filled my heart with glee.

I loved every part of her,
Her beautiful twinkling eyes,
Her warm hugs in the mornings,
And always her sad little sighs.

The love I felt within me -
Part of me wanted to tell her:
A lifetime of happiness,
Was every 5 minutes beside her.

But she was never mine - she would never be mine.

My heart grew closer to her
But we became further apart.
She left me in the best of times.
Desolation and grief is in my heart.

I screwed up all my courage
And in that moment I let it out.
I didn’t tell her everything though,
I didn’t tell her what it was all about.

Her heart was with someone else,
She understood part of me enough.
But she was with a wonderful person,
Another person who she could love.

But she was never mine - she would never be mine.

I try to fall for someone else,
To move on from the one that I love.
My concentration slips and turns,
I cry for all the help from above.

I still long for every part of her,
Her beautiful twinkling eyes,
Her warm hugs in the mornings,
And always her sad little sighs.

When I think very hard about it,
When it really comes to the shove,
She is still the one I treasure,
She remains the one that I love.

But she was never mine - she would never be mine.

I cannot see,
And I cannot hear.
I do not feel happiness,
And I do not feel fear.

No memories stall me,
No hopes spur me on.
My voice does not carry,
No one listens to my song.

Nothing makes sense,
Nothing is real to me.
Truth is fallible,
And I cannot see.

     The last time she saw him was 5 years ago. The were friends - the best of friends. Everyday, he would sit by her and keep her company. Everyday, she would tell him all her secrets in her world - and he would sit and listen.
     She was a different person now. And had all her friends to talk to. All her friends who would sit and listen to her telling all her secrets. Everyday, her friends would come over. They would talk about their secrets - their life, boys and little things. And he would not be part of it. They’d all laugh if they knew she talked to him.
    She woke up in a bright room - filled with the most dazzling of lights. Here, she saw him - and only him. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she remembered the memories. When she cried on his shoulder when the bullies picked on her. When she felt upset when a girl called her a “weirdo”. When she talked into the night about the boy she had once met.
          But now it was over.
     He smiled at her as she received her final memory. When she wrapped her arms around him… and only felt air…
     He was there for her - but not there for her. And now, as she passed into heavenly realms… he would pass into the imaginary.

I’ve been using a little community called “Notelings” (found at http://www.notelings.com) to cure a bit of my writers’ block. It works and the whole concept is quite interesting… especially the fact that you can see what other people write and get a lot of inspiration. All it does is produces a random word and you have to write as much as you can in 2 minutes. Here’s my current three “Notelings”:

Toast
TThe toast was warm, the coffee hot. Breakfast was in. It was a cold day outside, but inside, it was heaven. No need for worries, no need for thoughts… it was just me, this toast and some warm radio voice floating in the mind. Peace doesn’t come without a price - in a few seconds I will be down the side of a plane cleaning the terrorists.

I never know why they continuously observe us. I don’t even know when or where, just that they are watching. The problem was I could not remember when it started but all I can remember is that they had started. The history is there, vague and amiss, in the world of knowledge and ignorance.
There were claims that you were never alone, not even in your own room, but these were only claims - to frighten and to psychologically traumatise. But they say that every rumour has some truth to it.
Such was life in the biggest planetary system in the known universe - the Imperial Federation of Constellations. How can I see this as “A universe of peace”? It was the opposite - there was conflict everywhere - just we denizens were not supposed to know it. But what am I to complain as I am but a number not even noticed in my city let alone the universe!
However, this was all about to change - and it was more sudden then I would have thought. I never thought much of it, but now, I believe I can.
The clock blinked 0700, the lights turned on. It was time. It was time for change, even if nothing comes from it, I can only hope for one to be aspired. Everything to them will be the same but everything to will change. I will show them that all is not lost, for I still have my hope, for now.
A buzzer started. The Habit, or the routine of the morning, was to start. For now, they would suspect nothing. Moving to the food dispenser, I find that again today they decided I should diet on oats again today. What was the point of oats? Refuse, I thought, but to what that would accomplish as I would have nought to eat today and this day was important.
Gulp it down quickly - that was the trick, like everything else under the Order. Too slow and the taste sticks and stays, destroying the denizen slowly, just like the Order.
The next buzz. Clothes. Today it seems that I have an important job today as I see the three strips sprawled across my white shirt. I chuckled as I imagined what they would think trusting me on a day like this. After all, today I did have an important job to do, just not theirs.
A booming voice sounded and echoed throughout the room. Too slow, already I am suppose to be dressed and moving out of my room into the filing residents.
Run and dress. It was a movement that every denizen was used to. Little time it took for me to be filling down the hall amongst every other person. Every person was scanned - both for attendance and for items. Non regulation was not allowed.
The scanners hidden in the wall could tell everything, even my thoughts. But the minute microchip in my ear stud filtered the information and made them ignore me for it also gave the impression I was being watched by a higher power. That microchip saved my life - but that didn’t stop me from holding my breath during the scanning. For if it was to fail just once, just at that last moment…. but it wouldn’t, it couldn’t.
The last buzzer - the end of the Habit. I receive my piece of paper containing the work I have to do today, and head on out to the day that will change my life forever.

“Love is many a splendid thing… Love… Lift us where we belong… all you need is Love!”

These are the words of poet/writer Christian in Moulin Rouge and it just comes to show what this word love… it is impossible to define and it, like many emotions, even though it can be described in full detail. Love is different for everyone, it changes from time to time and it changes in every different occasion.

Love has been described as “magic” that comes between people that joins them together that makes everyone work together. It is the social “glue” that philosophers dream about. It is the very thing that endeavours scientists to keep proving things right, or wrong, even if that thing is love itself. However, it seems as though love cannot be defined, it is unknowable. So that is the issue: what is love? And how do you define such an emotion… or any emotion for that matter?

Love can be defined from its responses… what happens if we experience love… but what goes on inside changes from person to person. Or, it may stay the same but no human language can help us to possibly understand it… or translate to each other until that person feels it. This is nearly the same as all emotions - no way can we possibly use language to possibly discern emotions.

An analogy that can be used to describe emotion is colours. Emotions are like colour in every way possible – there are millions of them, they can be mixed and they seem to be the categorised just like colours.

One, there a millions and millions of emotions… some that we cannot not discern between them until we place them next to each other. Our perception of them is only limited to what can be sensed, the quickening pulse, the nerves, the “butterflies in the stomach”. Human sight can possibly only perceive between 256x256x256 colours, or, in nontechnical terms, 16,777,216 colours. This appears to be an amazing number but, compared to emotions, it could be well a very small numbers. This is because there is not only sight that can perceive emotions, but a whole myriad of sensors and neural receptors that can “feel”. Sure, it may be true that one does not have to experience all these emotions, but it is possible that the body is capable of doing all these emotions. There may be an unknown amount of emotions and love is probably a whole group.

Two, emotions can be mixed… which could explain the millions of emotions that one can possibly have. Emotions can be played around with, mixed around like an artist mixing paints on a canvas. There is no shortage of the myriads of combinations that can be made by mixing the colours of emotions. Love could be straight one colour, it could be mixed with joy, lust, hate or anguish… or there could be combinations of many, many things. The human language is simply too small, too young to possibly take down the millions of emotions because they are mixed. Emotions are sometimes reported as “mixed”. However, most of the times emotions are mixed, they are remnants of many emotions impacting on one person.

Third, emotions are categorised, just like colours. Since we cannot possibly name each and every one of our emotions, we simply place it into categories. There is no such thing as a happy emotion, or feeling, they are just categories, in which joy, excitement and others fit into. Love is the same… but love is the most complicated category (of course, there are no real lines). Love can be joined to harsh things, to kind things, to hate even. The phrase love-hate relationship comes to mind and it is true – sometimes love can be joined to hate to make that emotion.

A Poem about Love

Someone asked me what is love
is it good, is it bad
is it awesome, is it terrible
I honestly didnt know how to answer them.
I finally desided love is the most complicated of all emotions
Love is kind
love is harsh
love is wonderful
love is terrible
love is a cure
love is a sickness
love is LOVE
love is hate
love is meaningful
love is pointless
love shows the best in people
love shows the worse in people
love makes us speak truth
love makes us lie
love understands everything
love confuses everyone
love builds your life
love tears your heart down
love makes you smile
love makes you cry
love makes us cuddle
love makes us hit
love makes the world go round
love makes the world go crashing down
love makes things simple
love makes things impossible
love is always worth it
love is never worth it
love makes us smarter
love makes us stupid
love is enlightening!
love is BLIND
make love not war
make war out of love
love encourages
love scares
love is peaceful
love creates fights
love is soothing
love is tough

…and above all
Love is always worth it
because you become a better person
everytime you love someone
from the simplest careing for a friend
to the deepest desire to love someone til the world ends
from the unconditional love of a child
to the complicated love of the gods
there is…no meaning to love
love means…everything

No matter how much it hurts you, or makes you cry
tries your spirit, and splits your soul.
Love is always worth it…because what doesn’t kill you
makes you stronger
And however long it takes
you will be, a better person because you lived, though love.
Weren’t afraid to make mistakes, choices and try again.
And…above all, loved someone no matter what people thought.
You would die for that person…but you would also live for them.
That…is the true meaning of love…