Pensive Power

If i recount to my good lady
How beautiful i see of thee.
Nay, what i say is surely true:
Nothing will compare to you.

Nay, not a flower in a sea
of other ghoulish-looking trees.
Nay, not a pebble in the sky
in the midst of the blue blue dye.
Not even a precious stone
Set in gold, ready to be thrown.
Nay, what I say is surely true:
Nothing will compare to you.

Nay, not the beautiful cities
Adorned with aristocratic pities.
Nay, not the tallest spires
Where one may perish and tire.
Not even the glint of the night
Close as though it seems it might.
Nay, what I say is surely true:
Nothing will compare to you.

Nay, not a thing comes close
Except the suitors in their droves.
Nay, not one thing deemed pretty
Strays anywhere near you, pretty.
Not even the most beautiful of town
Would dare to take your crown.
Nay, what I say is surely true:
Nothing will compare to you.

She was always there,
The most beautiful girl I’d ever see.
Her presence filled up the room,
And filled my heart with glee.

I loved every part of her,
Her beautiful twinkling eyes,
Her warm hugs in the mornings,
And always her sad little sighs.

The love I felt within me -
Part of me wanted to tell her:
A lifetime of happiness,
Was every 5 minutes beside her.

But she was never mine - she would never be mine.

My heart grew closer to her
But we became further apart.
She left me in the best of times.
Desolation and grief is in my heart.

I screwed up all my courage
And in that moment I let it out.
I didn’t tell her everything though,
I didn’t tell her what it was all about.

Her heart was with someone else,
She understood part of me enough.
But she was with a wonderful person,
Another person who she could love.

But she was never mine - she would never be mine.

I try to fall for someone else,
To move on from the one that I love.
My concentration slips and turns,
I cry for all the help from above.

I still long for every part of her,
Her beautiful twinkling eyes,
Her warm hugs in the mornings,
And always her sad little sighs.

When I think very hard about it,
When it really comes to the shove,
She is still the one I treasure,
She remains the one that I love.

But she was never mine - she would never be mine.

I cannot see,
And I cannot hear.
I do not feel happiness,
And I do not feel fear.

No memories stall me,
No hopes spur me on.
My voice does not carry,
No one listens to my song.

Nothing makes sense,
Nothing is real to me.
Truth is fallible,
And I cannot see.

Behold the following words of truth,
They may come and hold you captive
But forget not the one who wrote them,
For he begs for you to become active.

I cannot bring myself to say it -
The words you’ve been wanting to hear.
It’s not because I don’t mean it
It’s just that I’ve overcome with fear.

We met in the heaven of heavens
Where an angel I beheld with my eyes.
You held my heart captive forever
Until the new dawn comes and cries.

What beauty I saw before of me
Enough to make the Sun ashamed.
For even he has not the pleasure
Of such beauty which cannot be named.

Your voice as beautiful as crystal
As striking as a diamond in the sky.
Relieves the humdrum of the day
And like a bird we soar and fly.

Maybe my mind appears wrong
And my heart is not truly clear
But you, you are truly worth it -
Worth the words you want to hear.

The three, tiny, little words
Of which you appear to treasure
You are worth every syllable
Hear the words at your leisure:

I

Love

You

There may be love in the world
In places seen and unseen
But I don’t see it, I don’t feel it.

Ice surrounds all those around
Frozen words from cold voices
Fatally taking you by the throat,
Jealously guarding all your choices.

Where is that shining light?
The one which guides the way.
Rumour says it changes
And warms and clears the gray.

It is there in front of us -
Plain in our sight for us to see
Why do we not see and reach?
Why do we turn and run?

We turn our faces to the light
We close our ears to the sound
Why do we wait for it to take us?
Why do we not just turn around?

The shining light is there
For all of us to take by the hand.
It will come and change all.
It will come to take the stand.

But will there be the ones
Who won’t wait to turn around?
Those that will accept reality
But still dream of something abound?

The few that can see the sky
Will be shunned as the mad.
They’ll join humanity and lie
Which could make them rather sad.

Because life isn’t that bad -
One can dream, one can love.
One can believe in the things above.

Wake up! Breathe in the new day!
Feel the love that warmly surrounds
See the beauty in new things
And hear, hear the new sounds!

There are those that are around
That do truly love and care
In all the good times and the bad
For true love doesnt come rare

So what’s to stop you?
From changin’ and turnin’ around?
To remove all those feelings
And allow the love and light to drown.

You’re alright now.
Just open your eyes
And look up to the skies.

I never know why they continuously observe us. I don’t even know when or where, just that they are watching. The problem was I could not remember when it started but all I can remember is that they had started. The history is there, vague and amiss, in the world of knowledge and ignorance.
There were claims that you were never alone, not even in your own room, but these were only claims - to frighten and to psychologically traumatise. But they say that every rumour has some truth to it.
Such was life in the biggest planetary system in the known universe - the Imperial Federation of Constellations. How can I see this as “A universe of peace”? It was the opposite - there was conflict everywhere - just we denizens were not supposed to know it. But what am I to complain as I am but a number not even noticed in my city let alone the universe!
However, this was all about to change - and it was more sudden then I would have thought. I never thought much of it, but now, I believe I can.
The clock blinked 0700, the lights turned on. It was time. It was time for change, even if nothing comes from it, I can only hope for one to be aspired. Everything to them will be the same but everything to will change. I will show them that all is not lost, for I still have my hope, for now.
A buzzer started. The Habit, or the routine of the morning, was to start. For now, they would suspect nothing. Moving to the food dispenser, I find that again today they decided I should diet on oats again today. What was the point of oats? Refuse, I thought, but to what that would accomplish as I would have nought to eat today and this day was important.
Gulp it down quickly - that was the trick, like everything else under the Order. Too slow and the taste sticks and stays, destroying the denizen slowly, just like the Order.
The next buzz. Clothes. Today it seems that I have an important job today as I see the three strips sprawled across my white shirt. I chuckled as I imagined what they would think trusting me on a day like this. After all, today I did have an important job to do, just not theirs.
A booming voice sounded and echoed throughout the room. Too slow, already I am suppose to be dressed and moving out of my room into the filing residents.
Run and dress. It was a movement that every denizen was used to. Little time it took for me to be filling down the hall amongst every other person. Every person was scanned - both for attendance and for items. Non regulation was not allowed.
The scanners hidden in the wall could tell everything, even my thoughts. But the minute microchip in my ear stud filtered the information and made them ignore me for it also gave the impression I was being watched by a higher power. That microchip saved my life - but that didn’t stop me from holding my breath during the scanning. For if it was to fail just once, just at that last moment…. but it wouldn’t, it couldn’t.
The last buzzer - the end of the Habit. I receive my piece of paper containing the work I have to do today, and head on out to the day that will change my life forever.

I’m not a fake… are you?

Wake up, it is done!
The Sun has finally come
But everything has changed,
Nothing will be changed.

Put on your daily mask,
The one that no one will ask.
Hide behind that façade,
This is only a masquerade.

Look outside… what do you see?
White matching faces, smiles a sea.
The same face, the same grin -
No one is accused of being mean.

What is with this world that has gone bad?
We pretend to care when someone is sad.
We pretend to know when nothing happens,
We pretend to change when something ripens.

Observe a weaver of beautiful words:

Slight, delicate hands moving ever gently,
Passing on from his heart love aplenty.
Half-closed eyes from a dreamy place,
Gazing in wonder into the open space.

Words come with the thunder of the herd.
Flowing in like a river – the word.
All aligned in mountain peaks of glory,
The true meaning of the full story.

He pours his heart into the one thing he knows.
Nothing is important when the beauty flows.
His every word, his every sound
Comes with a beauty – waiting to be found.

Grey, stony walls surround me,
Coming close and closing in.
Nothingness enters my heart,
Something felt and never seen.

Darkness comes and settles here,
And truly darkness there be.
No light illuminates the way,
No hope my tired eyes can see.

But the fingers reach out
For the warm, beautiful keys.
The light starts in brilliance,
The heart releases and frees.

Soothing warmth is felt
As the first notes are released.
The tired eyes close and relax
As the body becomes pleased.

The pleasant joy of the melody
As tender and warm as love.
Nothing can compare -
Except for the heavens above.

A bright fire now bursts
As the climax is reached.
Today is going to be a new day
All great and good will be achieved.

For one song does many things
For one little, desolate heart.
For one heart closed in darkness.
For the new day is about to start!

You blew it.

In the entire, monstrous world, there are only a couple of things that just goes straight pass the bad to worse line…. And you did it. That thing you did –you did it – did it without a thought. At the time, it seemed like a good thing to do, the most logical thing to do, the best thing to do.

You screwed up and the bad – the worst thing is, this time, you know it. You know that every little bit of it was bad, every little movement was stuffed, right from the beginning, right from the start.

Your heart pounds, your hands – your whole body – weakened. Nothing should of happened, yet it did, everything that could have happened did… it was stupid, crazy, irrational… but you did it.

So now what do you do?


Your Blood is flowing.

Pain – the deepest, darkest, excruciating pain is felt coursing through the entire body from the heart. The sweat glistens, no amount of shivering can shake it off… shake it off…

Forgetting is not an option – the memory is etched into the mind. Every turn off the head brings the scene back once more and the dizzying shaking does nothing, nothing to shake it off… shake it off…

The eyeballs turn, the mouth froth, the taste of vomit emerges – and none of it will stop – it won’t stop. There must be something to shake it off… shake it off…


So now what do you do?


Your story is known.

Eyes follow you.
Whispers follow you.
Cupped hands in ears block you from this world.


So now what do you do?


You must heal what is broken.

Nothing will do – no condolences, no witty remarks, no pieces of memorized poems. The monster in the depths is still in there… still in there clawing away from inside. It gives no end – places no signs.

You offer your heart, your whole body, you… but you are met with a stony fortress of ice. Deathly eyes stare back at you, claws lengthened, sparkling with sharpness. Every word is thrown away, every little piece of honour is torn, every plea is destroyed.

Your every trial is mocked, your every disciplined encounter flogged, the pieces of your heart laid out to be burned. But whatever the case, however bad it may be, whatever you have done the time is now, the hour is near… the time is coming. It’s time… it’s time … it’s time … to say sorry.