Pensive Power

You blew it.

In the entire, monstrous world, there are only a couple of things that just goes straight pass the bad to worse line…. And you did it. That thing you did –you did it – did it without a thought. At the time, it seemed like a good thing to do, the most logical thing to do, the best thing to do.

You screwed up and the bad – the worst thing is, this time, you know it. You know that every little bit of it was bad, every little movement was stuffed, right from the beginning, right from the start.

Your heart pounds, your hands – your whole body – weakened. Nothing should of happened, yet it did, everything that could have happened did… it was stupid, crazy, irrational… but you did it.

So now what do you do?


Your Blood is flowing.

Pain – the deepest, darkest, excruciating pain is felt coursing through the entire body from the heart. The sweat glistens, no amount of shivering can shake it off… shake it off…

Forgetting is not an option – the memory is etched into the mind. Every turn off the head brings the scene back once more and the dizzying shaking does nothing, nothing to shake it off… shake it off…

The eyeballs turn, the mouth froth, the taste of vomit emerges – and none of it will stop – it won’t stop. There must be something to shake it off… shake it off…


So now what do you do?


Your story is known.

Eyes follow you.
Whispers follow you.
Cupped hands in ears block you from this world.


So now what do you do?


You must heal what is broken.

Nothing will do – no condolences, no witty remarks, no pieces of memorized poems. The monster in the depths is still in there… still in there clawing away from inside. It gives no end – places no signs.

You offer your heart, your whole body, you… but you are met with a stony fortress of ice. Deathly eyes stare back at you, claws lengthened, sparkling with sharpness. Every word is thrown away, every little piece of honour is torn, every plea is destroyed.

Your every trial is mocked, your every disciplined encounter flogged, the pieces of your heart laid out to be burned. But whatever the case, however bad it may be, whatever you have done the time is now, the hour is near… the time is coming. It’s time… it’s time … it’s time … to say sorry.